Today is (or should have been) Emily's 18th birthday. We should have been going to the movies for her free movie on her birthday. We should have gone to her favorite restaurant - Lai Lai Mongolian BBQ - for lunch. We should of had a bunch of people over this evening for cake and presents. But that is not what happened and it felt all wrong.
Instead we went to the cemetery and put up a temporary maker that Emily's Uncle Red made. Without a marker the grave seems so lonely. We also placed some flowers. It was a tough day to say the least, but we knew it would be.
Things at the Brightwell house have been OK, I guess. Kathy and I went back to work on November 8th, she was only able to work a few days before it became too much to deal with. I struggled on until the end of the month but now I have to take some time. I had hoped that getting to work would help me cope but it didn't and now I am paying the price. Time to get this sorted...
Sharleen and Delaney are doing well. Sharleen still has some bad days but she seems to be getting through this. Delaney, as expected, has been doing fine. She has had a couple nights with bad dreams but nothing too bad. They are going to be fine. Kids are resilient.
The standard question that I am asked is "How are you doing?" The standard answer I give is "As well as can be expected." I don't know any other way to express how I am feeling. Everything seems wrong to me and I guess that is normal...
Sunday, December 02, 2007
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